One Step At A Time...

I am tired. I am tired of giving all without being filled back up. I am empty, my needs have all been placed on the back burner. I have got to start taking care of myself properly. It is okay to put your needs first. I am learning that things that others classify as selfish, are not.  I am not selfish to spend extra money on healthy food to nourish my body.  I am not selfish for loosing myself in a knitting project or a Xbox game, in order to combat the stress that I feel and instead of tackling the dishes in the sink or the mess on the floor.  I am not selfish for telling my kids to go play and give me a little bit of quiet.  I am not selfish for telling others no, I cannot help with that right now. I am not selfish for finding a place where heart is blessed and happy. I am not selfish for taking 30 minutes a day to do yoga. I am not being selfish when I need a break from my husband, kids and dogs. I am simply learning and choosing to refill my cup so I can be the best

I have a child with special needs. Yes, most of the time, he looks and is healthy. I am beyond grateful for that. My heart leaps with excitement because he is one of the lucky ones, who's condition was corrected early enough before permanent damage was done. I would not change one moment of my life, I would not trade a single part of BabyJ. He is teaching me faith, courage, and that I am stronger than I ever dreamed that I could be. He completed our family, the part that we did not even know was missing. With all that said, his future is very uncertain. His nerves running to his legs are still surrounded by a sizable mass of tissue that could re-tether itself to his vertebrae again, at any time or he could fall and injure those nerves at any moment, he could lose feeling in his legs or GI organs and never get it back. He could be paralyzed from the waist down at any moment. He may be perfectly healthy for his whole life, which is my only wish for him but that does